30 Comments
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Rick Foerster's avatar

Great perspective. The immersion into a character's mind, to me, is the great benefit of fiction (and it's noticeable when it's absent, esp in 1st). And not just to the reader, but the writer, too.

I've found a surprising amount of joy in inventing a new human, then moving in: feeling their feelings, thinking their thoughts, making their decisions, etc. It's fun to lean into all that, to try to embody whatever weird, neurotic thoughts would be inside that human.

Cae Hawksmoor's avatar

It’s wonderful, isn’t it? A pure act of creation. I never get tired of making up characters and stories

There’s real wild magic there

Robin F Pool's avatar

I really liked the before and after sections in this article. That helped me understand the concepts more clearly. I feel like this is A+ level editing advice, explaining the conceptual underpinning and not just critiquing the words on the page.

Cae Hawksmoor's avatar

Thanks so much, Robin! Your thoughtful and considerate comments always absolutely make my day

I always try to include examples because folks find them really helpful. Even if it’s not always easy to come up with them 😅

Tiffany Burnette's avatar

Loving all of this and plan to come back as I work through my current POV.

E.R.Dyal's avatar

Connection with characters is so vital to storytelling and there are so many ways readers can besides first person. I once read a story where the narrative was in second person. At first it was jarring, but by the end I completely forgot it was in second person. Thank you for illustrating narrative.

Cae Hawksmoor's avatar

I honestly love second person! One of my first published stories was written in it, and so's the interactive novel I'm working on atm. Like you say, it's a bit weird to read at first, but quickly becomes invisible

E.R.Dyal's avatar

I'm actually interested in reading more of that narrative style to see how other's handle it. I've been tempted to try it out myself. Set a sort of challenge for myself.

Lee Addison Smyth's avatar

Looking forward to trying out your writing activity as I do my edits!

Cae Hawksmoor's avatar

Yay! Hope it helps! How are the edits going so far?

SJStone's avatar

I think my goal for the rest of the year -- because I like writing in tight with little to no distance -- is to learn how to identify and eliminate those words that fill space between the writing and the reader.

Cae Hawksmoor's avatar

That’s such a worthy goal! Hope you find it productive

I honestly weed out soooo many of these words during my editing rounds. As an added bonus, it always ends up cutting my total word count by at least 5-10% because I lay them on thick when I’m drafting 😅

But the great thing is, the more I train myself to pick them out, the easier it is to eliminate them later on. And the payoff is awesome

SJStone's avatar

"While not strictly filter words, words like causing, making, starting, beginning to, etc all have a similar effect. When we describe every movement a character makes, it also adds subtle distance. Like we’re watching from outside."

I generally prefer close narrative distance, but I also struggle at times with filter and padding words. I actively look for them in editing rounds because I know they're there.

What I want is for my reader to feel bump and bruise and burps and bravado because when I write, I feel them all.

Cae Hawksmoor's avatar

Saaaaaaaame

I feel like things like narrative distance, filter words, pov etc are always the casualties in my first drafts. We can only focus on so many things at once, so some stuff inevitably has to wait until later

Like you say, that’s what the edits are for!

Imago Sa Poetry's avatar

Omg, absolute heaven,

a stream of clarity.

You are a star 🌟

I nearly lost the will to live in just chapter 1 ( & 3 prologues) trying to decide what the real difference was between First person and close third.

I wish I had read this earlier

Cae Hawksmoor's avatar

Sorry it took me so long 😁

Guess the bat signal from the universe was playing up that day

I’ll do better in future and glad you still found it helpful! 😂

T.H. Meyer's avatar

Helpful info!

Peter Tutehanga Carr's avatar

Really interesting stuff, as per usual. Thank you!

Cae Hawksmoor's avatar

Thanks so much for reading!

eggsavior1001's avatar

Excited to read this.

Cae Hawksmoor's avatar

You came back! Ha ha, it’s great to see you. Looking forward to hearing what you think

eggsavior1001's avatar

I'm nothing if not a man of my word lol

Crystal Dennis's avatar

I've been working hardcore on getting rid of filler words in my pros, so this article helped a lot.

Cae Hawksmoor's avatar

I see it like weeding a garden! Those pesky filter words crop up everywhere in my first drafts. So I come back in the edits and dig them all out by their roots 😁

Jay Logan's avatar

I am familiar with this but still struggling with parts of it in my writing. So, still very helpful. Thanks!

Cae Hawksmoor's avatar

Glad it was useful to you! Writing is a constant journey of learning and growing, isn’t it?

Thanks so much for reading!

Jay Logan's avatar

The learning never ends. Seems like the more I learn the more I discover I need to learn. Been on this journey for 10 years, moving slow at first. Now learning faster but still have a ways to go.

Cae Hawksmoor's avatar

Honestly I've been studying stories for almost 30 years and I still learn new things all the time. Like you say, the journey never ends!

Carl Lea's avatar

Beautifully informative, as always! Thank you.

Cae Hawksmoor's avatar

Really glad you found it helpful. Thanks so much for reading!