The wool one is challenging, especially if there is a major self v self element in the story. I’d argue that a combination of dialogue and internal reflection is just as necessary to convey character growth as action is, it just needs to be used judiciously and succinctly.
Totally agree! Repeated descriptions of characters eating delicious food do not move the story forward, no matter how much we like reading about empty calories...
Hmm, the passive protagonist where the story just happens to them. Shooting the breeze, relationship-building and self-reflection being red flags. Maybe it kills writing but I wonder whether all stories are able to stay action packed without a filler or two, just to breathe and sit back. But the tips give me a lot to think about. I wonder if I read my own story as a character-driven writer, I would see my characters going through a lot of introspection everyone knows about and fall for those traps ^^;
I don't think everything needs to be action packed! I read a lot of slow burn mysteries, for example. They can simmer for hundreds of pages. But one thing I've noticed is that almost every scene has *some* sort of tension. A secret, the threat of discovery, planning for a better life...so long as there's some gap between what a character wants and what they have (or something danger that threatens to take what they have away) the story will keep moving!
Like the protagonist must work for something painfully out of reach, but always felt and never seen and it is this gap and the determination to close it to the ending that stops passive protagonist because the character is moving the story. Just wondering about it, because I wonder whether my stories are written OK enough or I fall to traps that make it boring. So I'm trying to get it
Thanks for the article! I agree that this is one of the biggest problems for new (or all?) writers. If I was a teacher (which I'm not. rather a student, always.) I'd make writers read screenplays and observe that every scene, or even every line, needs a beat. If it hasn't, it's irrelevant to the whole thing. The most talented writers are just able to mask this perfectly.
Really interesting ! It could help inject action in exposition scenes. I don't think I fall in these traps, maybe because I studied a lot movie scripts writing and that is one of their core rules.
Oh I'm saving this one, lots of good stuff here. I'm actually curious about the "shooting the breeze one" . (Possibly one I am guilty of). I think some relationships show warmth and later growth, especially when the relationship is to be tested later. It's point A, so to speak...
Yeah I might struggle here a bit. But it also highlights what I might be able to cut later. (And cry about when I do.)
It’s definitely the trickiest part of the whole thing!
My favourite approach is to show relationships through what the characters do (teasing each other, ruthlessly defending each other, etc) and weave dialogue around scenes that are otherwise focused on action
It always makes me think of that great scene from Ragnarok, when Thor and Loki are talking about their problems while also beating up the bad guys and desperately trying to escape from Sakaar lol. It’s a great example of a scene that has some incredible relationship-building, while also carrying everything forward
This has been the main issue for a few manuscripts I've read lately. Now, I do think that some character moments are needed, but I'm a Heartweaver, so my stories tend to be character centered. However, the balance needs to be there AND the characters need to be active decision makers in their own lives. Your litmus test is good. I will use this. Thank you.
Character moments are definitely needed! Often, they’re my favourite bits. But it’s definitely the flow of the story around them (and the things that actually happen in the present moment) that give them meaning
But! But! Sometimes... I'm just saying... It's a little hard. LOL! In a headcold-driven write-in, I wrote a 30,000 word scene around a kitchen table making and drinking coffee. It was *cringe with laughter* riveting.
This is such a good article!! The only thing I’m unsure of is if we’re writing a dark academia/academic book, the academics are the main part of the book. Obviously a lot revolves outside of the classroom, but class is an expected part of the book, so do you have any advice on how to make classroom scenes more active?
Dark academia is a tough one! The Secret History is probably my favourite novel of all time, and I still have no idea how she sustained tension as well as she did!
That said, when it comes to keeping tension in any sort of scene (including classroom scenes) the key is in your pov character’s goal. What do they want or need in this moment? And is the class getting in the way of that? Do they need to find a way to slip out of class? Try to have an important conversation with a friend without the teacher noticing? Coax the teacher into giving them a certain piece of information they need, without tipping the teacher off on what they’re up to?
Tension lives and breathes in that space between what the character wants and the things that are getting in their way. If a character is passively sitting in class and listening, chances are the scene will fall flat. If the class itself is an obstacle in the way of what they want, or an opportunity for them to pursue that goal, suddenly, everything starts to sing!
This was super insightful, thank you for sharing it! I’ll make sure to print it out and keep it on the side while writing! I feel like as a first time writer I sometimes forget that I am an avid reader and as such I don’t exactly enjoy info-dumping! If I don’t like that as a reader why would I do it as a writer?
This is such a good point! I feel like there's often a gap between things that interest us as writers, and things that interest readers
Sometimes the bits that are most interesting to readers (clear goals, sustained tension) are actually a real pain in the ass from a writer's perspective. There are folks who have a natural talent for that stuff, but we don't talk about the lol
As a writer, we're often more interested in vibes, emotions, worldbuilding, backstory and all the stuff that goes around a story. It's so easy to lose sight of the fact that's not what story is for readers. That story is what actually happens in the present moment, and (in speculative fiction at least) the actions characters take in pursuit of their goals
Sooooo true! I get sooooo lost in the backstory and the emotions and little small details because I just love writing them, but as a reader it might in fact sound like someone is telling me too much and not allowing me to use my own imagination… show don’t tell am I right?
Ahhh what a journey I’m carving out for myself ahahahah
This was so good! I’m writing down that litmus test to apply to all my scenes. We don’t want the protagonist to sit back with us and watch the story happen, that’s the reader’s job!
Agreed, one thing I learned from writing is that everything needs to have some intent. While I'll admit I love a slice of life scene to set up who the character is and what their life was before the conflict, it should be short. And if the author makes it longer, they should intertwine the plot and stakes into it.
So true! I love the quiet moments, too. It took me a loooong time to figure out that it’s the movement and momentum of the surrounding story that gives them meaning
All that machinery of story is often invisible to us as readers. It’s taken me a while to figure it out!
Good afternoon: This is a really smart take on the machinery of writing...I think that some of the categories are inherently malleable (depending of course, on the intentions and skill level of the storyteller), but these observations overall are really poignant and useful. I have done (and oftentimes still do) all of these things to varying degrees, and I'm not certain that I could have articulated the issues as well as they have been here. Thanks for this...looking forward to reading more of your work!
The wool one is challenging, especially if there is a major self v self element in the story. I’d argue that a combination of dialogue and internal reflection is just as necessary to convey character growth as action is, it just needs to be used judiciously and succinctly.
Absolutely. Even a really fast-paced novel like Joe Abercrombie's the Devils isn't flat out action
At the end of the day, it's just about holding enough tension in the story that the reader doesn't wander off and lose interest
So long as we're doing that, nothing else matters
Totally agree! Repeated descriptions of characters eating delicious food do not move the story forward, no matter how much we like reading about empty calories...
Only Brian Jacques could get away with this!
Hmm, the passive protagonist where the story just happens to them. Shooting the breeze, relationship-building and self-reflection being red flags. Maybe it kills writing but I wonder whether all stories are able to stay action packed without a filler or two, just to breathe and sit back. But the tips give me a lot to think about. I wonder if I read my own story as a character-driven writer, I would see my characters going through a lot of introspection everyone knows about and fall for those traps ^^;
I don't think everything needs to be action packed! I read a lot of slow burn mysteries, for example. They can simmer for hundreds of pages. But one thing I've noticed is that almost every scene has *some* sort of tension. A secret, the threat of discovery, planning for a better life...so long as there's some gap between what a character wants and what they have (or something danger that threatens to take what they have away) the story will keep moving!
Like the protagonist must work for something painfully out of reach, but always felt and never seen and it is this gap and the determination to close it to the ending that stops passive protagonist because the character is moving the story. Just wondering about it, because I wonder whether my stories are written OK enough or I fall to traps that make it boring. So I'm trying to get it
Great article, Cae. I notice that any time my characters feel like bad actors waiting for direction, I've probably fallen into one of these traps.
This is such a great way of looking at it
Thanks for the article! I agree that this is one of the biggest problems for new (or all?) writers. If I was a teacher (which I'm not. rather a student, always.) I'd make writers read screenplays and observe that every scene, or even every line, needs a beat. If it hasn't, it's irrelevant to the whole thing. The most talented writers are just able to mask this perfectly.
So true. I’ve seen movies and TV shows like that: where not a single line is wasted, everything has a purpose and a reason for being there
It’s like magic. We can learn so much about story from screenwriting
Really interesting ! It could help inject action in exposition scenes. I don't think I fall in these traps, maybe because I studied a lot movie scripts writing and that is one of their core rules.
Honestly good movies are an absolute masterclass in how to keep the story moving. I've learned a lot from them!
Oh I'm saving this one, lots of good stuff here. I'm actually curious about the "shooting the breeze one" . (Possibly one I am guilty of). I think some relationships show warmth and later growth, especially when the relationship is to be tested later. It's point A, so to speak...
Yeah I might struggle here a bit. But it also highlights what I might be able to cut later. (And cry about when I do.)
It’s definitely the trickiest part of the whole thing!
My favourite approach is to show relationships through what the characters do (teasing each other, ruthlessly defending each other, etc) and weave dialogue around scenes that are otherwise focused on action
It always makes me think of that great scene from Ragnarok, when Thor and Loki are talking about their problems while also beating up the bad guys and desperately trying to escape from Sakaar lol. It’s a great example of a scene that has some incredible relationship-building, while also carrying everything forward
Thank you for the example scene! I love teasing banter scenes that show the dynamic.
I will probably need be taken out of my own head before the final call is made on this scene in particular.
This article was so helpful in flagging some chapters/scenes for review.
Thank you for this!
This is an awesome article. Found it really helpful.
Thanks so much for commenting! I’m really glad you found it useful
Great read! I find myself doing this a lot, especially for longer work. appreciate the share.
It’s so so easy to slip into, especially in early drafts. I reassure myself that’s what the edits are for 😅
So glad you found it helpful!
This has been the main issue for a few manuscripts I've read lately. Now, I do think that some character moments are needed, but I'm a Heartweaver, so my stories tend to be character centered. However, the balance needs to be there AND the characters need to be active decision makers in their own lives. Your litmus test is good. I will use this. Thank you.
Character moments are definitely needed! Often, they’re my favourite bits. But it’s definitely the flow of the story around them (and the things that actually happen in the present moment) that give them meaning
Like you say, the balance is super important!
But! But! Sometimes... I'm just saying... It's a little hard. LOL! In a headcold-driven write-in, I wrote a 30,000 word scene around a kitchen table making and drinking coffee. It was *cringe with laughter* riveting.
Damn, that’s a LOT to get done with a headcold!
I was able to keep none of it. LOL! well, I mean, I think I kept like 1,000 words? It was awful. LOL! 0 out of 10. Do not recommend.
This is such a good article!! The only thing I’m unsure of is if we’re writing a dark academia/academic book, the academics are the main part of the book. Obviously a lot revolves outside of the classroom, but class is an expected part of the book, so do you have any advice on how to make classroom scenes more active?
Dark academia is a tough one! The Secret History is probably my favourite novel of all time, and I still have no idea how she sustained tension as well as she did!
That said, when it comes to keeping tension in any sort of scene (including classroom scenes) the key is in your pov character’s goal. What do they want or need in this moment? And is the class getting in the way of that? Do they need to find a way to slip out of class? Try to have an important conversation with a friend without the teacher noticing? Coax the teacher into giving them a certain piece of information they need, without tipping the teacher off on what they’re up to?
Tension lives and breathes in that space between what the character wants and the things that are getting in their way. If a character is passively sitting in class and listening, chances are the scene will fall flat. If the class itself is an obstacle in the way of what they want, or an opportunity for them to pursue that goal, suddenly, everything starts to sing!
Thank you so much!
This was super insightful, thank you for sharing it! I’ll make sure to print it out and keep it on the side while writing! I feel like as a first time writer I sometimes forget that I am an avid reader and as such I don’t exactly enjoy info-dumping! If I don’t like that as a reader why would I do it as a writer?
This is such a good point! I feel like there's often a gap between things that interest us as writers, and things that interest readers
Sometimes the bits that are most interesting to readers (clear goals, sustained tension) are actually a real pain in the ass from a writer's perspective. There are folks who have a natural talent for that stuff, but we don't talk about the lol
As a writer, we're often more interested in vibes, emotions, worldbuilding, backstory and all the stuff that goes around a story. It's so easy to lose sight of the fact that's not what story is for readers. That story is what actually happens in the present moment, and (in speculative fiction at least) the actions characters take in pursuit of their goals
Sooooo true! I get sooooo lost in the backstory and the emotions and little small details because I just love writing them, but as a reader it might in fact sound like someone is telling me too much and not allowing me to use my own imagination… show don’t tell am I right?
Ahhh what a journey I’m carving out for myself ahahahah
I honestly don't even know why we do this to ourselves 😂
🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🙄🙄🫠🫠
This was so good! I’m writing down that litmus test to apply to all my scenes. We don’t want the protagonist to sit back with us and watch the story happen, that’s the reader’s job!
This is such a great way of looking at it. I love that!
Agreed, one thing I learned from writing is that everything needs to have some intent. While I'll admit I love a slice of life scene to set up who the character is and what their life was before the conflict, it should be short. And if the author makes it longer, they should intertwine the plot and stakes into it.
So true! I love the quiet moments, too. It took me a loooong time to figure out that it’s the movement and momentum of the surrounding story that gives them meaning
All that machinery of story is often invisible to us as readers. It’s taken me a while to figure it out!
Agreed! Insightful and well-written! All the writers should be subscribed!
Thank you so much!
Good afternoon: This is a really smart take on the machinery of writing...I think that some of the categories are inherently malleable (depending of course, on the intentions and skill level of the storyteller), but these observations overall are really poignant and useful. I have done (and oftentimes still do) all of these things to varying degrees, and I'm not certain that I could have articulated the issues as well as they have been here. Thanks for this...looking forward to reading more of your work!