I've been there, burnt myself out on writing and took years to get back into the groove and stop hating what I loved. Now I'm agented and trying to write book two and also trying to remember the lessons I've learned so that I don't fall victim to myself again. Wishing you happy writing!
Very poignant. Having pulled myself more than once from the wreckage that could have consumed my writing and state of mind, it's a hard journey. We all have this vision in our heads and it can be destructive. Acceptance and fortitude are tools we must learn how to wield carefully. Thank you for being open and honest.
So sorry to hear you've been through something similar! What an incredible job you've done pulling yourself back over and over again. That's some serious commitment right there!
I was crumbling under my own expectations, really. And I had to learn (the hard way cause that seems to be the only way I learn) I have to let go of expectations.
And I am not the only one doing a great job overcoming obstacles. I’d say you were killing it and better helping others. That’s pretty amazing.
This spoke to me. Beneath the terra, flowing down there somewhere is it, that thing, that magic. Knowing that it's there can assuage the frustration of getting to it; it's there, and it always will be. I think writing to create, the writing itself is the joy, and that putting things in the way of it, like success, like ambition, like whatever, can hurt it, can put more granite and earth, and lava on top of it, and it's harder to get to when the answer is just to write.
I am in the throes of struggle with this but at least these days I see a light off in the distance. I recently stopped force feeding myself with word count sprints and just promised myself that I just show up in my manuscript every day, doesn’t matter what I do or for how long, and that is actually working for me. For the first time in a long time, I touch my story every day. I remember the childhood joy and wonder I experienced with writing and I want that back so bad. I’m taking your words to heart.
What a powerful image and a powerful story. I too have felt that feeling of wanting more more more, digging deeper deeper deeper, only to struggle and thrash around.
Accepting the imperfection of it all really is the key, isn't it? I love how you framed it. This was a delightful read.
This is a spectacular article, Cae. I loved reading this and resonated with so much of what you wrote. I was making little noises, and my daughter, also a young writer, asked me what it was. I told her about Troy, arsenic, and a couple of the punches in here, including your final reflection of Troy. What a great pic to keep there as a reminder. So many great lines in here:
"In alchemy, arsenic is a pharmakon. A healing poison. Even today, it’s used to cure as well as kill."
"...that what hurt me could also heal—so long as I stopped swallowing it whole"
"...that wanting something too much can destroy it, and you can’t force your way into something sacred"
Loved this. Restacking. Interested in the Writer's Table too...
Aww, you are most welcome. Yes, my daughter has very much caught this bug from me! She is 18 and is about to move to a creative arts college to study Stagewriting and directing. She is a wonderful poet and storyteller already. I can't wait to see what comes next for her. Thanks for giving us yet another great writing conversation!
I'll admit, I have resisted all paid things on here so far, but the Writer's Room has me very tempted. Can you send me a DM with details please? Look forward to chatting.
Beautifully put! I'm also one of those writers who needs to FEEL okay before writing. But these days that's hard to find and then no writing happens so you have to force it, but nothing comes from that either lol.
It's definitely a fine line and I'm glad you've figured out what works for you, even though I know it's not always so easy to enforce on yourself. I'm hoping I find my writing way soon! The desire to write is huge so I need to find my way soon but this just helped me WANT to find it quickly
I’m rooting for you to find your way of writing! Seeking out that middle path between waiting for the perfect moment (that never comes) and forcing ourselves until we hate it is so so important
I've definitely felt this and even feel like I'm walking down this road. I love my writing but the reason I write keeps moving on a pendulum between love and need. The need is to become something, to save myself, to prove to myself that I can do it. On the other side it is the way writing has always been there for me and been my greatest friend. I do not want to burn Troy, thank you for the warning and the advice.
Thank you for sharing your own journey. You are exactly the reason I wrote this. If I can help just one person avoid falling into the pit I fell into, it would have been worth it
Be kind and gentle on yourself, my friend. It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot
Currently writing my fourth book and yeah act 2 is not pouring out of me like act 1 did. Probably because there's more to align/think on. But I've decided to trust the creative process instead because something feels not magical enough. So I am going to figure that out instead. But yes sometimes (I've even commented this to people myself) the best way out of difficulty is to write whatever hits you first. Sometimes you can really surprise yourself.
I've been there, burnt myself out on writing and took years to get back into the groove and stop hating what I loved. Now I'm agented and trying to write book two and also trying to remember the lessons I've learned so that I don't fall victim to myself again. Wishing you happy writing!
This is such an incredible story! Amazing job pulling yourself back out of that. That’s awesome!
You are an inspiration. Thanks for sharing that.
Very poignant. Having pulled myself more than once from the wreckage that could have consumed my writing and state of mind, it's a hard journey. We all have this vision in our heads and it can be destructive. Acceptance and fortitude are tools we must learn how to wield carefully. Thank you for being open and honest.
So sorry to hear you've been through something similar! What an incredible job you've done pulling yourself back over and over again. That's some serious commitment right there!
I was crumbling under my own expectations, really. And I had to learn (the hard way cause that seems to be the only way I learn) I have to let go of expectations.
And I am not the only one doing a great job overcoming obstacles. I’d say you were killing it and better helping others. That’s pretty amazing.
That was beautiful and important. Thanks for sharing.
I’m so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks so much for reading, and for your kind words!
This spoke to me. Beneath the terra, flowing down there somewhere is it, that thing, that magic. Knowing that it's there can assuage the frustration of getting to it; it's there, and it always will be. I think writing to create, the writing itself is the joy, and that putting things in the way of it, like success, like ambition, like whatever, can hurt it, can put more granite and earth, and lava on top of it, and it's harder to get to when the answer is just to write.
Well said!
I loved this.
Thanks so much!
I am in the throes of struggle with this but at least these days I see a light off in the distance. I recently stopped force feeding myself with word count sprints and just promised myself that I just show up in my manuscript every day, doesn’t matter what I do or for how long, and that is actually working for me. For the first time in a long time, I touch my story every day. I remember the childhood joy and wonder I experienced with writing and I want that back so bad. I’m taking your words to heart.
That's so wonderful to hear. Amazing work on finding your way back out of that!
What a powerful image and a powerful story. I too have felt that feeling of wanting more more more, digging deeper deeper deeper, only to struggle and thrash around.
Accepting the imperfection of it all really is the key, isn't it? I love how you framed it. This was a delightful read.
Thank you so much. So sorry to hear you struggle with these things too. We really can be our own worst enemy, can’t we?
Here’s to accepting imperfection and giving ourselves a break!
This is a spectacular article, Cae. I loved reading this and resonated with so much of what you wrote. I was making little noises, and my daughter, also a young writer, asked me what it was. I told her about Troy, arsenic, and a couple of the punches in here, including your final reflection of Troy. What a great pic to keep there as a reminder. So many great lines in here:
"In alchemy, arsenic is a pharmakon. A healing poison. Even today, it’s used to cure as well as kill."
"...that what hurt me could also heal—so long as I stopped swallowing it whole"
"...that wanting something too much can destroy it, and you can’t force your way into something sacred"
Loved this. Restacking. Interested in the Writer's Table too...
Thank you so much for this. It actually made me tear up a little
So glad that you found the post useful and shared it with your daughter. How incredible she’s following in your creative footsteps!
Would love to have you in the Writers’ Room if you’d like to join. It should be launching in the next week or so!
Aww, you are most welcome. Yes, my daughter has very much caught this bug from me! She is 18 and is about to move to a creative arts college to study Stagewriting and directing. She is a wonderful poet and storyteller already. I can't wait to see what comes next for her. Thanks for giving us yet another great writing conversation!
I'll admit, I have resisted all paid things on here so far, but the Writer's Room has me very tempted. Can you send me a DM with details please? Look forward to chatting.
Of course!
Beautifully put! I'm also one of those writers who needs to FEEL okay before writing. But these days that's hard to find and then no writing happens so you have to force it, but nothing comes from that either lol.
It's definitely a fine line and I'm glad you've figured out what works for you, even though I know it's not always so easy to enforce on yourself. I'm hoping I find my writing way soon! The desire to write is huge so I need to find my way soon but this just helped me WANT to find it quickly
I’m rooting for you to find your way of writing! Seeking out that middle path between waiting for the perfect moment (that never comes) and forcing ourselves until we hate it is so so important
You’ve got this!
I've definitely felt this and even feel like I'm walking down this road. I love my writing but the reason I write keeps moving on a pendulum between love and need. The need is to become something, to save myself, to prove to myself that I can do it. On the other side it is the way writing has always been there for me and been my greatest friend. I do not want to burn Troy, thank you for the warning and the advice.
Thank you for sharing your own journey. You are exactly the reason I wrote this. If I can help just one person avoid falling into the pit I fell into, it would have been worth it
Be kind and gentle on yourself, my friend. It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot
Wow amazing. This is a great inspiration for me. Thankyou for exposing your own vulnerabilities
So glad you found it helpful! I was a little nervous about sharing this one
Team Arsenic all the way!
I think this piece speaks for a lot of us here.
I wish so many folks didn’t have to struggle with this, it’s the worst. But glad it struck a chord. We’re all finding our way through this together
This also illuminates what happens when you're trying too hard. It's difficult to just relax and let the words come at their own pace.
That's so true!
Currently writing my fourth book and yeah act 2 is not pouring out of me like act 1 did. Probably because there's more to align/think on. But I've decided to trust the creative process instead because something feels not magical enough. So I am going to figure that out instead. But yes sometimes (I've even commented this to people myself) the best way out of difficulty is to write whatever hits you first. Sometimes you can really surprise yourself.
Thanks so much, Nicky. I’m so glad it rang true for you!